MissBonnified apparently really liked the first episode of “Undercover Boss” and throwing around phrases like “it sucked major donkey balls.”

I’ve since decided to rename Super Bowl Sunday into the Man Holiday. This is the day when I think all men should be able to do whatever the hell it is that you guys do to make you feel like Ice Cube when he said “Today was a good day.”

I’ve been thinking a lot about the topic of dating lately. Maybe it’s because Valentine’s Day is creeping up on me in all it’s sneaky glory. Cupid’s a little bastard when you think about it.

Most girls have a thing for Hello Kitty. By “girls,” I mean females who have yet to hit puberty. I didn’t realize, however, that most women over the legal drinking age are still fixated and fascinated by this kitty cat.

My friends think I’m a little weird. I say “weird” is relative so HAH!! But seriously. They can’t understand my fascination with things that go bump in the night.

Years ago, the women actually looked like women because they had curves where we’re supposed to have them. Now a lot of females are just really thin.

I don’t understand cheating. I just don’t understand. Is it for the thrill? Because it’s definitely not FTW unless you define “win” as sneaking around and hoping to God your prenup is airtight.

You see, I seem to defy all logic and logistics when it comes to tanning. This explains why so many people are blinded when they’re either within a five mile radius of me or when I’m at the beach.