What’s not to like about John Wayne, the man who epitomizes rugged masculinity and is synonymous as an enduring American icon? Moreover, what better way to makeover and brand toilet paper so it’s befitting for your every tough manly man? Because clearly real men don’t need or want soft absorbent double ply tissues hawked by soft bears and babies.

Introducing the John Wayne toilet tissue, it’s rough, it’s tough and it doesn’t take crap off anyone! I’d buy them in bulk if I could.