Rectum Free Birthday Fun!

So this year I turned 29 and I have made an oath to not bitch about my age….

I am going to be happy with it until I’m like 50. Then I can start to worry. I always hear about women on Oprah talking about how sex in your 50’s is supposed to be the best sex of your life. Well, if I was old and wrinkly and didn’t give a CRAP, then I would have great sex too.

Anyway, I had my usually birthday gathering of friends for board game night and it was a blast. We played Scene it and Mario Party 8 on Wii. That game is only good if you have more than two people play it. When I play against my husband we play nicey nice, which is no fun at all. I want to eat some “Bowlo” candy and bowl over someone’s ass! Hee hee. It was nice to have a birthday game night without getting in to a fight with my brother and husband. Le’me S’plain.

Two years ago we played Trivial Pursuit Pop Culture and I hated everyone at the end of it.

Well, not everyone, just the guys. We played boys against girls which sucked, way too much testosterone on one team, and Trivial Pursuit has a way of bringing on arguments in my group. There really needs to be an unbiased judge to rule on “partial” and “almost” answers, but who the hell wants to be the impartial judge. It’s like a designated driver to happy hour.

Then last year we played Pictionary. Notice that I tried a different style of game altogether. Yet, I still wound up hating the guys. Maybe I should have a girls only game night. Only I don’t have enough nerdy girlfriends and we would probably get caught up in talking and never complete a game.

So last year’s Pictionary session started out well.

Stupid us, we put boys against girls again. We came to find that the cards that came with the box were super lame. So we came up with some of our own clues. I wrote down ones I thought would be really hard like, “Adventures of Barren Munchausen” and “Breakfast at Tiffanys”. The boys picked “Butt Pirate” and “Kitty Ninja”. They’re such Tards! It was somewhat amusing until one particular clue.

“Rectal Thermometer”

We got the thermometer part right away but for some reason…..“rectal” just wasn’t happening.

How would you draw a rectum anyway?

My friend drew butt cheeks with a brown hole in the middle. We screamed “Anus” and “Anal” and “Butt” and even “Sphincter” over and over and over again. And she just kept circling the butt cheeks with the hole in it like it was helping. The guys almost peed themselves laughing. Who the hell would have thought of “Rectal” anyway, we only had thirty damn seconds and that’s just not enough.

So we lost.

And I hate boys.

Well THIS YEAR we did NOT put boys against girls. In fact, I was on the SAME team as the two largest antagonists of the group, my brother and my husband. It worked like a charm. We annoyed everyone else I think but oh well. It was the celebration of my birth, not theirs. : ) And, I got some kick ass presents.

I got a bottle of wine from Capresse, which didn’t make it through the night, and spore from my brother, which rocks. I’ve really been needing a new computer game to alternate with WOW. I’ve gotten to the Civilization part. We’ll see how it goes from there. And my husband gave me a Jim Shore figurine.

OMG, I have found a new obsession. We were walking through the mall one day and passed by a card shop. All the Christmas ones for the season were on display. They were so amazing. I can’t believe I had never seen these before. So Eric went on the web and found his site. He ordered me the two Siamese cats from “Lady and the Tramp”. He knows I love cats. I love love love it. I also got the Beauty and the Beast Gallery of Light box. Its gorgeous. I really think it’s the most beautiful one of any that I have seen in person or online. And it’s totally my favorite scene in Beauty and the Beast when they’re dancing and the Teapot is singing.

So all in all it was a great birthday this year.

No fights and no Rectums!