In stark comparison to the Star Wars Lightsaber Haslab project that has only reached 1,300 out of a needed 5k backers, the newly announced GI Joe Classified Haslab H.I.S.S. has not only completed it’s goal of 8,000 backers inside the first day, but it is currently sitting at 9,473 backers, bringing it within 500 of reaching the first stretch goal.
Head over to HasbroPulse now to back the H.I.S.S. for $299.99
As a result, M.A.R.S. Industries has subcontracted HasLab, who were unwitting accomplices in our Cobra Hack of the G.I. Joe Skystriker campaign, to crowdfund the production and distribution of the first-ever G.I Joe Classified Series Cobra H.I.S.S. (High Speed Sentry) vehicle in 6-inch scale. They will carry the water to realize my genius. They need to reach 8,000 backers to officially fund the project. This HasLab campaign begins June 29th and ends in 47 days just before midnight on August 15th. If funded, they anticipate final delivery in Fall of 2023.
Never before has an undertaking such as this occurred – our project is the first 6-inch scale G.I. Joe Classified Series Cobra H.I.S.S. vehicle for which everyone has been clamoring. A mere $299.99 grants backers the base offering of my technological wonder, the H.I.S.S., as well as a highly-articulated Cobra H.I.S.S. Driver Action Figure with premium deco, detailing, and articulation for poseability. The vehicle itself contains an astounding level of detail and features allowing for myriad posing and display options.
The H.I.S.S. vehicle contains battery-powered interior and exterior LED lighting features. At the push of a single button, you can turn on the H.I.S.S.-vision lights, the interior cockpit heads-up display, headlights, fog lights, rear Cobra convoy lights, and, most impressively, the Cobra Insignia Beacon. This unique invention of M.A.R.S. Industries projects the Cobra logo on the ground ahead of the vehicle.
I’ve teamed with Dr. Mindbender to enhance this projection with his special combination of “illuminator intimidator” rays that will surely send the Joes cowering in fear should they cross the path of the beams. A secondary red LED light illuminates the rear cargo space to preserve any troopers’ night vision when the door is lowered, and they deploy.
Only my technological brilliance could possibly have engineered the state-of-the-art weapon accessories and design achievements offered by the G.I. Joe Classified Series Cobra H.I.S.S. vehicle. It’s a modern update of the original classic Cobra armored terror. I have instructed the HasLab Marketing team to draft a comprehensive list of features that is readily digestible by even the most provincial layman:
What H.I.S.S. would be complete without its Driver? This G.I. Joe Classified Series figure included in the base offering comes ready for action, with multiple points of articulation for high poseability along with 4 weapon accessories. It comes individually boxed with its own artwork and number in the G.I. Joe Classified Series sequence, and will only be available through this HasLab offering. Anyone like me who cannot abide incompleteness in their collections should be certain to back this campaign to ensure no glaring omissions on their shelves.
Beyond this mechanical marvel I have developed, Cobra Commander has tasked me with implementing several potential enhancements to the base offering of the G.I Joe Classified Series H.I.S.S. vehicle. Scrap Iron and I are devising upgrades to expand its destructive capabilities. But that is all dependent upon the whims of our financial backers. Should enough investors fund the campaign, we shall reveal those Classified offerings in due time.
Wax on, or Wax off?
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