Lat’s face it, some people are just idiots. Recent decades have seen an increasing trend in both vanity plates for cars and vanity names for babies. Whether it’s a hoard of Twihards naming their kids relatively innocuous names like Edward and Bella, well meaning moms dooming their daughters to a lifetime of being called an “Ice Queen” by naming them Elsa, or self indulgent celebrities naming their kids after inanimate objects and foods, it seems like Americans have forgotten that the name you give a baby sticks forever.
Sadly, it now looks like parents are not only being stupid about naming their kids, they are being lazy. Starting in 1990, a new name started popping up on the social security ranks: ABCDE. In case you are wondering, that’s pronounced: “AB-si-dee.”
There are now actually 328 people in the US sporting that name (most of whom were born in Hawaii). Their median age is 7.5 and only 11 of them are currently over 18.
If you name your kid “Candee,” you are pretty much guaranteeing her a career in adult entertainment. Does naming your kid “ABCDE” mean that they’ll have to become an English teacher?