BBMLounge 2: Lodi Dodi, We Like To Party But Only If I Can Get There

Fail #3 came in the form of the food. I’d tell you how awesome it was but I got to taste a coffee eclair and some fried thing. That was it There were people squatting by the entrance to the food so by the time the servers took 5 steps, their trays were emptied. Very classy, people.

Fail #4 was the bar. Yes, it was a hosted bar, so that was awesome. What was not awesome was how they didn’t have mixers because they ran out and were trying to get some more. They had red bull and some sparkly flavored water thing. One bar said they were going to charge me for champagne because I’m downstairs. Upstairs is open bar but the bouncer wouldn’t let me in upstairs because there was too many people. Fine. I go the bar right across from the first one and they gave me champagne. Way to go, people who managed the bar! Great communication and making sure everyone’s on the same page.

Fail #5 was the gift bags. I had no idea there were gift bags. Could this be because it only took me 2.5 hours to get to where I had to go? Even so, you’d think the party would be better organized where they’d have people greeting their guests when they finally straggle through the gates to the compound or something. The only reason why I knew there were gift bags was because I saw a bunch of the shiny BCBG bags strewn on the ground like so many dead leaves.

Fail #6 has got to be my favorite. This is the part where the night went from Worse to Nuclear Fall Out Fail.

So the mini Ne-Yo concert is over and I decide it’s time to go home. It’s about 1:30 in the morning. My friend and I pick our way back to the entrance of the mansion when I encounter my favorite person in the whole wide world, G. He’s plastered. I ask him how we’re going to get home since it was such an ordeal just getting us here.

I’m going to tell you word for word what he told me.

“Ha ha ha, I have no idea. You’re on your own, sister! Ha ha ha!!”

Very reassuring. I ask him if the security detail will let a cab through if I were to call a cab. He thinks they will, he’s not sure but I should try just to see what happens. I ask him for the address to the place and he gives it to me.

We make our way to the front where there’s a long line of people already waiting to board transportation. Okay….so this means there’s a kind of system to get us home. I’m feeling a little better…..until I witness the following :

1. The transportation isn’t very reliable. It’s a mix of private transportation arranged by people who took matters into their own hands, limos, shuttles and cabs.

2. The limos they ordered can’t make the turn around the damn fountain so it takes them about 20 minutes to finally maneuver around the fountain to pick people up.

3. This means desperate people start taking matters into their own hands by jumping in the limo / shuttles / taxis OUT OF TURN AND OUT OF LINE. People are even TWEETING about how they’re jumping the line because that’s the only way to get out of there. Either that or they’re going down the mountain to ambush the cars coming up. People are bribing the cabs to take them instead of coming up the hill to get us, the people who are dumb enough to actually wait in line.

4. Riots break out and fists start flying.

5. Security has lost complete control of the situation.

6. People are now storming any mode of transportation as they make their way up the driveway to no avail because they are full from the people who waited by the bottom of the mountain and got in.

7. This means a very dangerous crushing situation is going on. I’m caught up in the front of the crush. There are desperate people shoving me forward, I can’t move out of their way and security is shoving us backwards. This is getting very painful.

8. I call my contact person at 2:30 to ask her how we’re getting home. She tells me there are supposed to be shuttles taking us back. I tell her there hasn’t been a shuttle in an hour (by my watch and by security’s watch). She tells me someone’s working on it and hangs up on me. WTF?!

9. Some guy in dreadlocks starts menacing the crowd. He comes to the front where I’m waiting with a bunch of other girls and starts thumping his chest like a gorilla. He says he’s in charge of the bar operation (oh, you’re the dumb ass who stocked your bar so awesomely. Way to go!!), his girls have worked hard all night, some of them worked doubles to serve us “motherf**kers” who didn’t tip them. So if we motherf**kers think we’re getting on a shuttle before he and his girls, we’ve got another thing coming. If we’ve got a problem, we can come talk to him and he’ll beat our asses if the person who’s got a problem is a male.

Some of the girls started talking back. They helpfully pointed out the fact that he’s addressing a group of females so does he think he’s some kind of big man to talk to us that way? Also, he and his bartenders are getting PAID to be there working. We’re not. She also wanted to know if this is how he treats all his customers. I’m trying to get the attention of the security guys to get a hold of this guy but they’re too busy watching us to see what we’re going to do next. Reeeaaally helpful, guys.

Security was completely useless. I don’t think it’s a good idea to have older, shorter men as your security detail because they’re not threatening enough physically. DreadLockDude was a big guy. I think they should hire people built like football linebackers or MMA fighters or something. That would be more effective.

10. It is now 3:30 a.m. I call my contact person back and a male answers the phone. I tell him that I’m still at the mansion waiting for transportation back to where my car is parked. I inform him that one fight has already broken out and the guy who says he’s in charge of the bar situation is menacing the crowd and security can’t handle what’s going on. I want to know how we’re getting home because there hasn’t been a shuttle in yet another hour.

MaleDoucheBag says “What do you want me to do about it?”

ARE YOU F**KING SERIOUS?! WHAT DO YOU THINK I WANT YOU TO DO ABOUT IT!!! I WANT YOU TO GET ME HOME, DUMB ASS!! IT’S 3:30 IN THE F**KING MORNING AND I’M STUCK ON A HILL IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE!!

I say “I want you to figure out a situation to get me home because whatever it is you’ve got in place is not working.”

MaleDoucheBag says “So what would like me to do?”

……omfg…..

I said “Call taxis. Get more shuttles. I don’t know! This is YOUR party so why am I thinking of ways to fix YOUR problems?!”

Okay….seriously. If you knew transportation was a disaster coming to the party, doesn’t it make sense to be working on the problem while the party is going on so that you won’t have the same issue on the return trip? Or am I just crazy for thinking this?

He hangs up on me. Very professional, people.

11. I finally board a shuttle with people screaming behind me and trying to climb on. Our shuttle is full. When I left, there were still at least 20 people stranded. I have no idea what time they got home.

12. I walked through my door at 4:45 am and passed out on my couch.

Don’t get me wrong. I actually had a good time during the hour or so that I was at the party. That part was pretty cool. I loved the concept and how they integrated BlackBerry into as many aspects of the party without coming off tacky.

What killed the night for me was the transportation problem. I think I waited close to 5 hours total trying to get to my location. You know it’s a fail when people are ranting and saying the best $80 they ever paid was to a taxi to get out of the “cluster f**k” that was the party. Their words, not mine.

[ED: I think it’s also important to point out that Xomad realized that this event could have been planned better and have been going to great lengths to make it up to people. Hell, we’re already looking forward to their next event!]

For more images from Xomad and Blackberry’s BBM Lounge 2 event go here. All photo credits goes to iamguestofaguest.com