America has a weight problem. There’s no arguing it. Look around at the people in your family. Hell, look in the mirror and there’s a good chance that you are part of the 2/3 of America that is overweight. To combat this, we do everything from diet and exercise to gastric bypass surgery. A lot of that might now be a thing of the past because the FDA has just approved one of the dumbest things possible.
It’s called the “AspireAssist” and it is essentially a drain pipe that goes from your stomach to outside your body, allowing 30% of stomach contents to end up in a plastic bag instead of in your body, where fat, sugar, salt, and calories can be absorbed. If you are wondering if these people have to walk around with a bag sticking out of their belly every minute of their lives, don’t worry. They just snap it on to a port a half hour after eating and out comes their not-yet digested meal. the whole process takes 5-10 minutes and then you just dump the bag into the toilet.
There is so much wrong here, and this is not about shaming anyone. Just think about it. How does allowing someone a chance to dump 30% of what they eat into the toilet teach them to eat better in the first place? What is the actual thing here that improves someone’s life beyond letting them continue bad habits, but with a literal escape valve. Then there’s the concept that this is a surgery where you are going to have a port permanently on your belly. Aside from the added social stigma involved, what about the risks of leakage or possible port infections?
While I’m sure whichever pharmaceutical company that made this spent a lot of good money “lobbying” the FDA to get this procedure passed, it seems like an idea that belongs in a book about old quackary style medicine of the 19th century than something that should be performed in a modern medical facility.
Here’s a commercial, created by the company who is pimping this madness:
Skeleton Crew Never Say Die!
Now give us a good Golobulus!
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