Ladies, before you go thinking that stuffing a potato up in your naughty bits is a good way to avoid getting pregnant, consider this tale of woe.
A 22 year old Colombian woman was looking for a fool-proof method of birth control. Amazingly, her mother suggested that there was no better solution than to jam a potato up her hoo ha. I can only assume her mother did this because there’s no way a man is going to want to have sex with someone who looks like they are about to give birth to a pound of tater tots.
I’m not sure what real science was behind her mother’s suggestion was (though I’ve heard of potatoes being used similarly in the dark ages to prevent someone’s uterus from dropping out), but it did manage to help prevent her from getting pregnant… at least from a human.
If you’ve ever left potatoes in a damp, dark place, you can guess what happened next. The potato sprouted… and took root. This could have probably been avoided if the woman had not left the potato in place for 2 weeks… and wasn’t an idiot. When she got to the hospital, nurses were able to see visible roots growing out of her. Thankfully, they were able to remove the potato with a little bit of gardening know how and without actual surgery.