“The Thoughtful Guy Rap” By Rhett And Link

I think about space and the vastness of it.
I think about cake and how much I love it.
I think about if Wal Mart is good or evil
I think tattoos are cool – on other people.

I think about the unexplored depths of the ocean
I think about the difference in ointment and lotion
I think about if– I should wax my back.
I think a handful of nuts is healthy snack.

I – am a thoughtful guy.
Right now, I’m thinking about the millions of microorganisms living all over my body. It’s like I’m a mothership. A 100% male mothership.

I think about how I could get on the local news
If i strolled into a McDonalds and stripped down nude
I think about a hotdog; while I’m eating it.
But then I pause ’cause I’m thinking about its ingredients.

I think about the first guy who ever shaved.
And how many times did he shave before the second guy caved?
I think about if a friend was choking on ice
I think “just be patient” would the best advice.

I think about that moment when I’m drifting off to sleep
and then my body jerks like I’m falling suddenly
I wonder if that’s a defense mechanism for something,
like for when you’re sleeping on a cliff or you’re just top-bunking.

Sometimes I think how old guys like to whittle.
And how if I start now and just whittle a little.
my whittling skills will hone before I get old.
and I’ll pwn all my friends at the retirement home.

I think of all the places that a penny has been.
like, seriously, think of all the places that a penny’s been in.
It coulda been in the pocket of the President’s suit.
but it’s probably also been in some toddler’s poop.
Cause little kids eat pennies like they’re Flintstone Vitamins
Accruing no interest while traveling inside of em.
Re-entering circulation might boost the economy
But I’d rather not pay with a penny that’s performed a colonoscopy.

I think that our universe is really one of many.
With many parallel me’s
stretching to infinity.
doing activities
similarly to me
yet, at the same time, done slightly differently.
and seemingly,
right now, they could be
thinking this – same thought as me.
Well, a similar thought but not the same thought exactly.
That’s pretty deep.

I – am a thoughtful guy.
Right now, I’m thinkin about the people who invented words…did they just look at stuff and say the first thing that came to their minds? And if so, how do you explain dufflebag?

I think how do I know that you and me
see the same colors the same way when you and me see.
Is my red blue for you, or my green your green too?
Could it be true we see differing hues?
And say we do- then how would we discover this fact?
And even if we did, would there even be any impact?
I don’t think this would affect us personally,
but I think it would have ripple effects through the interior design industry.

I think about if I was turned into an ant,
I’d want my loved ones to know, so I thought of a plan-
I’d gather twigs and leaves and write my name on the ground,
then I’d wait for my family and friends to crowd round
but now I’m thinkin’- that when they saw it
they’d think the human me wrote it and an ant was crawlin on it
Then not realizing’ the ant-me was really the real-me
In a strange twist of fate I think they’d probably kill me