There’s a news story out there today that you’d almost be willing to bet money starts with “Florida Man.” Amazingly, this act of brilliance is actually attributed to a man in Fresno, California. What act you might ask? He shoplifted a chainsaw from a local hardware store by jamming it down his pants. Even more impressively, he got away with it!
As you can see in the security footage, an older man walked up to the chainsaws and gingerly slipped the blade into his pants while hiding the handle in his jacket. When he was done, he looked like he was 9 months pregnant, but that was apparently not enough for someone to stop him before he walked off with the dangerous power tool.
If you know anyone who has either been bragging about his new chainsaw or lamenting an accidental circumcision, authorities would like you to call the Fresno Police Department at 559-621-7000.