Let me start off by saying to those who didn’t watch the finale yet and who haven’t been spoiled by co-workers or people who have no mental filter on Facebook, do not read this. If you have already seen the ending of “Lost,” scroll down a bit to find our article.
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Let me start off by saying that I’m a huge “Lost” fan. I’ve seen every episode and I thoroughly enjoyed the ending. Sure, it was a little bit extra coincidental that Lapidus was found alive and floating in the exact path of the outrigger… but hey, what are you going to do about it. On a complete sidenote, I had a summer camp girlfriend when I was twelve who had the last name Lapidus. My bunk makes used to call her Lapenis behind her back. Now that I think about it… the same kids took my last name and turned it into PEZdick. On reflection, my cabin mates were seriously hung up on male genitalia…

Anyways, over the course of the years, some hooligans have been complaining of a hidden conspiracy of racism on “Lost”. This was mostly based around the fact that minorities seemed to have a relatively shorter life span on the show than the white folk. What about Hurley you say? They dismiss him as proof of equality by saying he’s white enough to pass as a Caucasian.

As the show wrapped up last night, something was definitely missing in Church… black people. The grand finale where everyone gathered up and moved on, presumably to heaven was missing the majority of their African American cast members as well as a major character of Hispanic descent.

Where was Michael? Where Was Walt? Where was Mr. Eko? Where was Anna Lucia?

Some might point to Rose as an argument, but you could say that she was allowed in because she was accompanied by a white guy, Bernard. Sayid was there too, but he was on the arm of Shannon…

What does this mean? Some people say that they didn’t make it to the end because they failed at redeeming themselves. But doesn’t that just imply that there’s a much higher standard for people of color to achieve redemption? Walt never did anything wrong. Michael atoned for his sins after his death and Mr. Eko was beaten to death while reciting the 23rd Psalm.

Is it possible that it means that minorities can’t get into heaven except as the +1 of a white person? That seems like a pretty strange rule to set up for getting into heaven. It sounds an awful lot like what it took to get into some buildings back in the 1950’s.

If all this is true, do we have to go back and review the whole series for more instances of racism? Is it possible that the entire show was set up to subliminally imply that whites are in fact the master race and that all others, with the exception of Asians who seriously outnumber the white people, are just half people who can’t even get their just reward without the hand held blessing of a Caucasian?

In a word… No.

We’re just poking a little bit of fun at what was a damned fine show that went out with a bang and probably made a crap load of people cry and cheer in the process. Some people find Jesus in a grilled cheese sandwich and others find racism in an Oreo. Don’t take life too seriously, or you’ll just end up looking for meanings in random appearance of polar bears.