Because Sometimes Wiping Your Butt Is Just Too Hard

For over a hundred years we’ve been using toilet tissues the same old way. Now there’s a better way with the extended reach and comfortable to use Comfort Wipe™. It grabs and holds the toilet tissue in perfect positions so you can easily wipe yourself. When you’re done, just dispense the soiled tissue right in the toilet with the press of a button. Comfort Wipe™ extends your reach a full 18″ while the anatomical design follows the contours of your body for perfect cleaning. It’s perfect for everyone, especially if you have trouble easily reaching because of physical limitations such as bad shoulder or other mobility limitations. Now you’ll never have to touch a dirty toilet tissue!

No, this isn’t a joke. Its an actual product. I was really wishing this was some sort of prank, but its not. Its the real deal. Its from Telebrands, so I was kind of hoping Billy Mays, the Oxyclean guy, would do it. I can just imagine how it might go now.

“Hi I’m Billy Mays here for Comfort wipe. Too Fat to wipe your own ass? Do you wash yourself with a rag on a stick? Then you’ll need the comfort wipe. Just Stick it, Swipe it, and Wipe your worries away!”