Dear Michael Jackson… When I was little, I thought you were a good guy and nothing more. I couldn’t figure out how the words “Smooth” and “Criminal” applied to a good guy but now that I’m older, I know what you really were.
Read Time : 6 Minutes
Helpful Hints From A Retired Female Bartender
There are certain people you never want to piss off. The cop writing you a ticket, your boss and the people who have direct contact with the stuff you’re about to eat or drink… I’d like to give you list of what NOT to do to piss off your bartender.
Read Time : 8 Minutes
Man, I Feel Like A Woman
Why do people get all butt hurt when they lose to a girl? I don’t get it. And why is it that all things girly are portrayed as being negative?
Read Time : 7 Minutes
Sugar And Spice All Tied Up And Laced Down
I swear I’m not a dominatrix, although I think the innate skills I possess in my specialty could afford me a very lucrative gig moonlighting as one should I choose.
Read Time : 6 Minutes
Fake Celebrities And Why I Will Never Understand Women
Why are people like OctoMom and Jon and Kate Gosselin celebrities? I’m serious. Who ARE these freaks and why do people care?
Read Time : 8 Minutes
I Kissed A Girl And I Liked It, The Taste Of Her Absinthe Chapstick
I vaguely remembered something about some green thing that turns people all crazy, something about Van Gogh cutting off his ear and then blah blah blah it was banned.
Read Time : 7 Minutes
This Post Is Sponsored By The Letter “H” For Hawtness And Powered By Raging Hormones
I didn’t really know what the hell X-Men were when I was 12 but based on the name, I was a little afraid it was kind of naughty…
Read Time : 6 Minutes
Ken, The Playboy Leach On Barbie’s Ass and Wallet For 48 Years
Being Barbie’s bitch has many perks. For one thing, Ken never needed to develop the infamous G.I. Joe “kung-fu” grip.